:
Please don’t put me on hold
I know the score
I hang on for fifteen minutes and then the line goes dead
You don’t want to deal with me
I hear those messages about going to the website
But I’ve been there already
I know the answer to my query is not there
I don’t call you because I want to
I am very hard-of-hearing, I don’t like the phone
It’s because I have to
Your robot says that my call is important
So important, that there are not enough staff to answer it
And you are constrained by your script
I am off-script
I am on your vulnerable customer list
But I know that’s just for show
You must be making a profit out of me
I’ve been an uncomplaining customer for twenty-five years
But loyalty counts for nothing to your shareholders
Are they robots too?
I’d like to cry now
I’ve got a problem
And you’re not going to solve it for me
You’re going to make me feel insignificant, a nuisance, an idiot
Me, and all the others who cannot chat to chatbots or manage mobile ticketing and online-only everything
The old, the bereaved, the isolated, the ill, all of us with special needs
Don’t worry, we’ll die off soon
One-by-one – tiny murmurs of a blip on your cash flow
I’m on hold now, in limbo
I know if I try to complain, I will still not be understood
What am I waiting for? Click.
